time now is 1245AM.. n i cant slp due to some problems i'm having.. ppl say in love is a happiness ting but for me? tings dun work well.. lots of misunderstanding betweeen us.. dunno is it becos of long period of togetherness n start to c each other ways of handling tings... or is it.. together for too long tings will not start to work well...
tml i haf to follow my workers out to handle some big project n i need rest but until now my eyes dun seems to close.. i am tired but i cant slp.. when ur brains haf lots of tings going ard u nv will the tendency to slp well... i rather envy ppl who can slp from morning till night mayb becos they dun haf stress or anyting in their mind.. i am really trying so hard to maintain my love for her.. accepting all the tings she is.. loving her is not trying to change her but to accept.. i understand such tings but i dunno y my character sometimes dun really understand it.. heart is pain like a knife piercing thrugh it.. been thrugh so many tings working hard trying hard but it seems now just a small ting everyting is spolit..
like ppl say once u go into jail u will forever haf a bad record.. ppl will look down on u n say tt u r a ex-convict.. i now understand tt human beings cannot commit offence.. time left for me is so little less the 3 weeks i going into police n haf my 6 months of training inside.. wif torture of physical mental and lots... its a path i choose a career which i wanted to haf.. but i cant even handle my own relationship now i start to wonder how am i going to handle tings when i go into police.. Friday is the day which i hope it come faster..
really lost for now.. been a long time i haf such feelings... i tot since after i was wif her i was ealy happy.. fate really bring us together tt time on the bus 72 which i rem clearly.. she being my ot gf i was so happy wif her tt time.. after tt she being my gf n i tot she is happy wif me.. but neverless tings start to get bad n bad after 1 yr together... i nv once rem any bad quarrels wif her although we haf it.. i always rem the happiness wif her.. going to sing KTV wif her for the first time, going overseas wif her for the first time.. going to c movies wif her for the first time.. tt time was so excited when i going to meet her... but now everyting start to get abit bad.. i really dunno wat went wrong.. is it becos the tings i do or is it becos the tings she do make me do tings which i dunno will hurt her.. am i over possessive? do i really need to change to b a happy bf or she need to change to b a better gf?
tings will work well ma? i hope it will.. frankly speaking after she say she wan to cool for for a few days my heart really sunk.. i was wondering y our relationship will become this way... i always c my frens happily wif their gf but for me now it become quarrels always... quarrel over small little tings getting upset wif each other.. haiz.. i'm sad i'm really sad.. who can gif me a hug now to comfort me? will she come n hug me to comfort me? i really trying so hard to get along wif her.. but i really dunno if she feel the same way as i do?
hope tings will get better.. i weep i really weep dunno y tears come flowing down itself.. mayb i love her too much.. i dun wan to let go n nv will i wan to let go of her.. she is important to me..
dear if u c this post call me tell me u love me too hao ma? let tings go let all the bad tings go away.. let us accept each other n dun always quarrel....
well well well.. dunno y my IE is faulty recently so i cant blog.. hmmm now everything is back to normal n i can blog again... anyway i resign from my job le.. alot of unhappiness which is not very convenient to say out.. Stress Stress Stress... ArgHhh..
Police medical check up is done.. All my body system functioning perfectly.. waiting for my enlistment now.. when is my enlistment when is the letter coming....
End of May i'm leaving.. JUNE onwards i'm jobless... haha...
currently my dear sis studying now.. hmm i miss her wor....